I went to Stake Women's Conference all the way back in June of this year and meant to write out the notes from one of the classes there. It was such a great class about marriage. I never got them typed out, but did save the program on the back of which I wrote some notes. The Crisler's are very musically talented people. Both are accomplished singers and one or both of them sing in the Tab. They attended Julliard School of Music which is where they met. At the time, Sister Crisler was not LDS. They gave 10 observations about marriage that they felt had helped their own through the years.
1. Forget the gender roles that are traditionally assigned to men and women. Do what works, be a helpmeet.
2. Avoid saying "It's your turn". Remember that it won't always work 50/50. Sometimes you are giving more and sometimes you are taking more. It always works out in the end.
3. Don't compare your marriage to others. Everyone has their own individual positive and negative aspects in their marriages, some which aren't visible to the public eye. Just work on improving and appreciating your own marriage.
4. Never mention divorce. It will breed a monster. Once that boundary is crossed, it is easy to go there again and again.
5. Never say, "If you love me, you would...." That is a form of control and no one likes to feel controlled in a relationship.
6. Realize, know and appreciate that you will always have differences. Clarify these constantly. Learn to work with them and make them a win/win for both of you.
7. Always compromise. "Good marriages take work--better ones take even more work."
8. Keep the romance alive. Do things that you both enjoy that help you feel closer to one another.
9. Your marriage is your own. Don't tattle to other people about each other. People never forget what you tell them and how it makes them feel toward your spouse. Often it comes back to bite you.
10. Never forget your activity in the church. Make it your cornerstone in everything you do. It will enhance so many aspects of your marriage, including your children and extended family. Remember that missing just 2 Sundays leads to inactivity.
Okay, those are the notes I had on the paper. There were great examples and stories also given along with these. They did a great job and I thoroughly enjoyed this class. Now I can throw away the program I had been saving all this time.
5 years ago