A Venture Into Long Boarding!

My son, Joseph, invited me to go on an outing with him on the local river trail.  It was about 50 degrees outside, which to us was tropical weather after the cold winter we've had.  So he got on his trusty longboard and I on my bike and off we went.  He says he would be considered average on a longboard, certainly not a "skater" type.  But I think he's really good! 

   I enjoyed watching him glide along the fairly smooth trail, his hands casually shoved into his jean pockets and when there was an occasional bump, he would jump slightly with the board to get over, with as little impact on the board as possible.  We went for about a mile and a half, with me just kind of coasting on the bike and not working up much of a sweat.  In contrast, as we were coming back, I noticed that Joseph was definitely working up a sweat.  I realized that pushing off and gaining momentum on a long board can be quite the anaerobic exercise!  
   Somehow I found myself on the long board and Joseph on the bike.  He was a great instructor,  telling me how to push off and how to line up my feet.  I found out that indeed, it takes a lot of work to push off and obtain a workable speed.  Having some sense of balance is certainly key.  I longed to be as good as my son and be able to glide gracefully along, looking so nonchalant, as if it were effortless.  Unfortunately, my movements were rather choppy and spastic, more akin to an old-time silent picture movie, where all the actors look robotic.  I would obtain a glide for all of  2 feet and find that I needed to once again push for momentum.  I hadn't been doing it for even 10 minutes, and I was sweating like a pig.  And darn those bumps where roots from the trees along the path extend out under the trail and break up the asphalt.  Somehow you need to clear those!  Joseph did so effortlessly, and when he told me to just go over them instead of getting off the board and walk across, I obediently attempted to do just that.  Unfortunately, I was not as successful as Joseph.  My board seemed to catch on the jagged lip of the bump and just stalled out.  I, on the other hand, lurched awkwardly forward, landing in an incredibly awkward and painful position, my left leg twisted under me going one direction and my right leg going in the opposite direction.  Crap!  Not my bad knee, the one I have been babying along for 2 or 3 years now, after a previous, equally awkward fall on the ski slopes.  It has never healed back to its original, healthy state.  Now, here I was, with a re-injury and in my mind, probably more serious.  I lay there on the pavement yelping and crying in misery and Joseph standing there in dismay and concern.  I had the luxury of laying there to collect myself without any passers by.  I would have gotten up quickly just because of embarrassment if anyone had come by!  After a few minutes I got up and dusted myself off, hopped on the bike and off we went. 
    We stopped on the way home to say hello to some horses and when I got off the bike, my leg wouldn't support me and kept buckling under my weight.  Not a good sign!  
    It is the day after the event and I haven't been out of my pj's all day.  I didn't walk the dog and I lounged around in bed reading, after I was served breakfast in bed, which was definitely a perk of the whole unfortunate episode.  Thankfully, I have one more day to recover before the work week begins.  Hopefully nothing got torn and I will be back to full throttle soon!
   But what this is telling me is that my days of reckless abandonment with trying new things may be almost over.  I want to keep the mobility I have and not wreck the great quality of life I enjoy.  I have to think of the consequences more than the immediate gratification I might have when trying fun and exciting physical challenges.  It's rather sad to come to that point and a far cry from when I got on the ski slope for the first time.  (Wow, another story for another time!)  I'm glad that it was with Joseph when the realization arrived.  But never say never!  Even now, I feel the need to prove myself.  I like the board I found above!  Ironically, they are called 'Old Lady Skate Boards'.  I can tell you one thing, I'd rather be the old lady riding the board than the old lady ruining other people's fun, like this lady!    Stay safe!  Live life to the fullest but be wise!

Goodbye February

This month has been quite the month.  It was bitterly cold during the first part of the month, then we had Valentine's Day, then President's Day, the Academy Awards, and now it is over.  Today, it was approaching 50 degrees and the sun was out, so I hauled out my bike and took a beautiful ride on the river trail!  Ah, sun..giver of life!  But as with everything, moderation.  Sadly, the dilemma we are always fighting.  I think that this quote by Max Muller fits today and this month in general, "A flower cannot bloom without sunshine and a man cannot live without love."  So as February leaves us, it is a reminder to me of two things I cannot live too long without--sunshine and love!  And this February, I'm grateful that I have no shortage of either one.  

I've been wanting for a long time to share some of the poems of my late maternal grandmother, Helen MacDonald Livingston.  She was a wonderful woman, whom I adored as a child.  Before she left us, she left behind beautiful writings. Her poetry speaks to me today more than ever.  Here are two of her poems - one about sunshine and one about love!

                Message Of Spring
Have you heard the song of the meadow lark?
Do list(en) to the message it brings!
With the first warm rays of the sun, hark, hark!
Hear it sing.  It is spring, Oh! It's spring.
A message of spring, the meadow lark brings
It pours forth from its liquid throat,
And where 'er it rings there isn't a thing
But what responds to its joyous note.
The sun peeks out a little more to hear,
The sprouts of grass stir beneath the green,
And perhaps the spring herself loses fear
And trips out to greet the rapturous sound.
So list(en) yourself for the meadow lark's song
And list(en) to the message it brings,
And you will be filled before very long, 
with the wonderful sunshine of spring!

             Love's Coming (or Oscar Night 2011)

 Love comes to some in crimson gown
'Neath brilliant lights of dazzeling town,
With blaring bands, and pomp and show
That she has come, she lets all know.

Love comes to some 'neath country trees.
Her step is muffled by the breeze.
I really can't say what she'd wear.
One hardly knows that she is there.

Tho' some would like the love in red,
I'd choose the quiet one instead:
The love that has quaint, quiet ways.
I think it is the love that stays...

But my, aren't these dresses beautiful?

Ice Is Nice (When You Aren't Bulldozed By It!)

We've had some strange and epic weather all around the U.S. this year.  Mainly record-breaking snowfall and flooding!  Utah was comparatively tame in comparison.   But we did have some really cold temperatures in January and the snow fell in abundance. And then this!  On Wednesday, February 16th, high winds with gusts of about 50 miles per hour blowing over Utah Lake, caused the ice to blow to shore and pile up on the dike and over the moat!  Within 5 minutes the ice had piled up 35 - 40 feet high!   It even caused $5,000 damage to a man's vehicle that was parked where the ice was piling up.  At least he got to it before it was totally destroyed.  Read about it here!
Anyway, we took a little time over the President's Day weekend to go take a look for ourselves at what hasn't happened in over 25 years to this area of the lake, according to old-timers.  Here's what we found!  We had a lot of fun climbing around on the ice and it made for some fun shots!

Chunks of ice blown up on the dike

Cars will have to wait until summer to drive on this road

As for me, I hope we've seen the last of the cold weather.  Three months of really cold weather is all I'm good for.  Before too long, I'll be whining about moving to St. George during the winter! 

The First Week

Our first week as full-time parents to my 14-year old son has come and gone.  Let me tell you there were some doozies!  First of all, he eats a ton.  We are not used to cooking so much food!  It's a full breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am so grateful that DH has started to take cooking to the next level and really enjoys it!  His cooking is so much appreciated because I leave for work at 7:30 and come home at 3:30.  I am pretty tired after dealing with 6 or 7 at-risk boys at Independence HS.  We had BLT's for breakfast this morning, the best fried potatoes yesterday morning and banana pancakes the morning before. It was hecka good!!!

Another thing is that Joseph has a lot of catching up to do academically.  He has missed long periods of school for virtually every year of school since kindergarten.  And while he is very intelligent, he doesn't understand some of the math concepts that he should have known in elementary school.  So there is a lot of catch-up to do.  That is another thing that DH has so unselfishly done.  Every single night he has had to help Joseph with his homework and help him to understand what he isn't understanding at school.  This means that first he has to understand the math himself.  (Fortunately, it is only math that seems to be the thing that is giving Joseph the problems.)  So first he is going over it himself to make sure he gets it and then he tries to explain it to Joseph.  One night it took 3 hours to get his homework right. So while Joseph got off to a rocky start and had to be put back in math, he is now starting to turn in his homework and do well on his tests.  I am optimistic that he will be able to catch up!


Apparently in Virginia, where he had been living, Joseph was used to quite a bit of freedom, taking off wherever and whenever he wanted to.  He lived in a very small rural area, with lots of forest and wooded areas.  He and his dog, Shadow, would go exploring a lot.  This cannot happen here, because there is so much to do after school and only so much time to do it in.  One day, Joseph didn't come home.  After an hour, I decided to go looking for him.  I was worried that he had missed the bus and had forgotten our number and had started out walking himself.  I drove around and ended up at the school and patrolled the deserted halls but didn't find him.  I called a couple of other boys' moms to see if they had seen him, but they hadn't.  Finally, after almost two hours, he walked in the house, followed by two boys.  They had gotten off at the other kid's bus stop and had gone to his house, hung out, gone to the second kid's house, hung out, and now they were at our house, ready to see what was here.  So we had a little chat about that.  

He is used to going to bed whenever he wants and so where it should only take him 30 minutes to complete a shower, brush his teeth and get to bed, it takes him up to an hour and a half to get it all done.  We have to stay on top of him constantly to keep him focused and on time.  
I honestly have to say, I couldn't do it if I didn't have DH helping and participating - fully committed and engaged to what we are focusing on:  helping Joseph to succeed this year in school.  But having him here is so wonderful.  He brings such a great spirit to our home.  He is so funny. He is so fresh.  He wants to accomplish things but he needs our loving help and support.  In turn, we need his sweet ways and innocent sense of adventure.  He just loves our dog, Evee.  It gives us a new sense of purpose. I am just tickled pink.  I only hope that it can continue on, but I'm not sure.  It will be mostly up to him if he chooses to stay.  Maybe this routine is too structured for him.  He has been left to do virtually everything on his own his whole life--with no routine, no discipline (except by his older brother--Yikes!), and no stability (always moving around).  I hope that he will like it here and realize that what he can get here is stability, routine, discipline and encouragement.  So far, so good!

A 6 Foot 200 Pound Miracle

Sometimes things that you have hoped and prayed for, and finally accepted that thing as a 'no' answer, happen.  And they happen suddenly.  So suddenly, in fact, that you wonder whether or not you are dreaming, or, strangely, if you are even up to the blessing that you were asking for in the first place. 

Let it suffice to say that my son, Joseph, separated from me at 19 months of age, and who I have dreamed, longed for, cried and prayed would one day be reunited with me for longer than 5 weeks once a year, came from Virginia to live with us to finish out his school year.  He came this last Saturday and enrolled in school today.  I've known that he would be here for all of one week now.  It is no less a miracle than turning water into wine as far as I'm concerned.  

He has a lot of things he needs to get caught up on, a lot of things he doesn't know, some things that need to be unlearned.  But there are a lot of things he knows, too.  I know what a special boy he is. Yes, he just turned 14--rather late in the game for a mother's influence to be felt at it's most significant.  But, nonetheless, I think I'm up for it!  And I know he is too!  So here's to the school year!  Wish us luck!  I haven't been a full-time mom in quite awhile now!

First day of School

Unpacking and getting his room organized

Viktoriya, My Teacher, My Friend, Last Chapter

It has been a sad and difficult time for the friends and family of Viktoriya Shershnova.  Seeing her suffer in the way that she did the last 20 months after her horrific car crash was more tortuous for her loved ones than for her.  She went from being a vivacious, vibrant, loving mom and famous personality to a shadow of what she was, totally dependent upon the mercies of hopefully kind caretakers at the care facility at which she stayed. 

 I felt so fortunate to have been able to visit her on a regular basis during a portion of that time.  It was a privilege to be able to put her favorite lotion on her arms and legs and put chapstick on her parched lips.  She was able to pay attention and communicate a little bit.  She loved her face rubbed and her hands rubbed.  She would get a sweet peaceful little smile on her face when she was well enough to enjoy it. But she was in lots of discomfort and often communicated that as well by her looks of sadness and pain.

I remember the Christmas of 2009 when I scheduled my singing group, 'Friends And Neighbors', to go and perform their annual Christmas Performance at her care facility.  I had it put on the facility event calender and reserved the main hall and called ahead the day before we came to make sure that Viktoriya was able to be in attendance.  Despite all of that, the day we arrived, they weren't going to bring her out to see the performance because she wasn't ready and they said she didn't have a bed or chair that could accommodate her in the main area.  They were pretty much telling me that we could perform, but Viktoriya wouldn't be there.  
 Now this post isn't about me, but when they told me that Viktoriya wouldn't be coming out, the stubborn Helena welled up in me.  This is the stubborn me that has been through many a hardship and tragedy and has refused to back down and refused to let someone else tell me what I can or can't do, just because they think they can.  I  had 9 very busy women, my own Dad and son with me and here was this floor nurse telling me that we couldn't do what we came to do.  That wasn't happening.  I went throughout the whole facility, talking to every and any person that looked like they had any kind of influence. I also told the staff that we wouldn't be performing until Viktoriya came out and that we were prepared to wait.  And wait we did.  Finally Viktoriya was rolled out after about 30 minutes and we went on with the performance.  It was a special time for me because this was the Christmas present I was able to give her to show her how much I love her.  I will always appreciate the women of 'Friends and Neighbors' for driving the 50 mile round trip and patiently waiting until Viktoriya could listen to us on their busiest of Saturdays to do this for Viktoriya.  They truly showed that neighbors and friends are also the angels among us. 

 The last time I saw her, I felt like I wanted to have a picture taken with her.  It was amazing because she seemed really lucid and content that day.  When I got out the camera, she actually acted like she knew what I was doing and even smiled when the attendant said "1-2-3 smile"! This is my last special memory of Viktoriya. 

On Saturday, January 15th, I got a call from a bellydance friend who told me the sad news.  Viktoriya had passed away on Friday.  Apparently, she had been doing well and then one of the nurses checked on her and she had quit breathing.  They resuscitated her, but she couldn't breathe on her own. She finally quietly passed away.

 The funeral was very simple but well-attended.  Her daughter, Nikol, gave a simple but beautifully heartfelt eulogy about her mother.  Through her tears, she talked about how she had always admired her mom and hoped that someday she could be as beautiful as she was.  She spoke of how her mother had many trials, but always told her and her sister, Jessica, that she wouldn't trade it because she had her two girls.  She told about how every night she would come in and kiss her and tell her that she loved her.  She spoke of the special look she got in her eyes that made her know that she meant it. 
  Another person who spoke was Sarah Brimhall, one of Viktoriya's best friends and who was very close to her daughters, as well.  She had been one of her first students here in Utah.  Viktoriya had taken a special interest in Sarah, like she did so many, and had an open door to her any time she wanted.   Sarah had been with Viktoriya the day before her accident and spoke of how she was literally glowing with good health and happiness.  There is no doubt that she was an extremely beautiful woman on the outside.  But what is even more extraordinary is how beautiful she was on the inside and how much love she had for so many people.  
  I deem myself a fortunate person indeed to have known such a wonderful person as Viktoriya and call her my friend.  We had many heartfelt conversations and had a personal understanding of one another.  I know that her progression is continuing in Heaven and that her understanding is growing by leaps and bounds.  What she couldn't comprehend here on earth, will all be made clear in the world beyond.  Viktoriya's life helped me understand the limitless love our Father in Heaven has for each one of his sons and daughters and the mercy that he has extended us in our individual journeys of progression and knowledge in this life.  It is through his Son, Jesus Christ, that we are able to look with hope and joy toward the life after this one.
 So, Viktoriya, here is my final update on your life and I hope that all who knew you will find peace and know you found rest and joy in the loving arms of those who were waiting to greet you.  God be with you until we meet again!

At the funeral with another one of Viktoriya's dear friends

Some of the flowers at her funeral

A Good Week's Work!

It's been a nice week at work.  I work at a remedial high school in one of the 3 behavior units for students who also qualify for Individualized Education Plans (IEP's).  I work with Troy Hulse, who has been working for a long time with at-risk boys.  He is very good and has a lot of experience with this population.  This is the 2nd year he has actually been in a contained classroom, since before that time he worked out in the field, leading work crews for these same students.  He actually requested me from another classroom I had been working in, probably partially because I am a female and with these kids, it's imperative that they learn how to work respectfully with males and females, alike.  It's a real struggle for them to do that most of the time--just be respectful.  There are several obvious reasons why that is so and probably many more less clear cut explanations.  For one thing, it is society in general that implicitly condones the disrespect of women, objectifying them into not much more than sex symbols.  A lot of these kids have not much more than the prototype of society in general to mold their philosophies and behaviors.  Another is that sometimes their sadly lacking home environments have been such that disregarding women and mistreating them is the standard.  And variously, they are fettered with the chains of physiological limitations, where their erratic behavior is symptomatic of their condition. Any kind of positive response from them must be gained by medication, precision commands with strict reinforcement follow-up!

Every day I go to work, wondering which kid is going to try and take me down with sharp sarcasm or penchant for mean humor.  It's always someone and something different.  One day I think I have made tremendous headway with someone and the next day, it's a total reversal of attitude.  Most of the time, I am able to avoid any major confrontation because I'm pretty savvy myself, when it comes to street smarts.  And, since we are on the level system, there is always the threat of dropping a level if they go too far overboard with disrespect, threats or rude comments.  

The funny thing is that I really genuinely like the boys, who range from 15 to 18, in my unit.  They all are intelligent, personable and humorous!  They can be charming when they want to be. But there is a reason why they are in my unit.  Most likely, it is because they were behaviorally out-of-control in the regular high schools that they attended.  Most of them have several misdemeanors to their credit and some have even been in detention.  So while I quite like most of these boys, I can never trust them.  I'm always on my guard.  For instance, once they actually invited me to sit with them at their table at lunch.  If they actually were to do that, it would be a great sign of status for me.  But I didn't buy it.  I declined to sit with them.  I soon found out that what they were actually planning on doing was getting up and leaving, once I had sat down with them, leaving me at the table alone.  But I'm no dummy (totally debatable, however) and saw it coming and the fact that I didn't fall for it actually got me a little more respect!  

We see some of these boys mainstreamed back into regular classes, first within the high school itself and some even get to go back to the original high schools that they were expelled from.  Basically, when I really get to be rather fond of someone and impressed with their progress, that is the time they will be leaving my class. So, I don't get too much time with a kid who is well-behaved on a consistent basis!


So why has it been a nice week?  Well, it was nice because I am getting more comfortable teaching Social Skills and Daily Oral Language Skills to them, which are the two things I teach on a daily basis.  I see them actually responding and participating in spite of themselves!  When I first started out in this unit at the beginning of November, it was a disaster.  They were bound and determined to withhold any respect or even any acknowledgment of my presence as an authority figure.  I was so grateful to have a male professional in the classroom, who laid down the law when things got out of hand.  Nevertheless, he couldn't see everything that was going on. They have extremely covert ways of trying to undermine me and my efforts to be an integral part of the class workings.   


It's been nice because one of the more dominant members of the classroom actually sincerely invited me to join them in a game during free time.   That was definitely a status jump.  Now most of the kids have decided that I am worth bringing into a recreational game outside of formal class time!  Yes!  They have actually started asking me for different pieces of advice about their understanding and clarification of the world around them, whereas before they would only ask those things to Troy.  Now, they are trusting me enough to ask me!  Major victory!  And, when I do give my opinion about different things, they will actually weigh it in their minds and give it thoughtful consideration.  They may not agree with it all the time, but they do attend to it!  Small though these things may seem, in the realm of at-risk youth, it is huge.  They have grown up with many different obstacles and at the forefront is the ability to trust or the permission to respect adults in their lives.  For me, it's one thing for a young person who has had every opportunity and encouragement to render me some good faith.  But for someone who has not had such assistance, it is the best feeling ever to have them hesitantly at first, extend the hand of friendship and trust.  Maybe then, influence for good can be had~and that's what brings me great satisfaction!  I hope that you have a great week in whatever you are doing, because we all have immense capacity to make the world around us a little better because of what we do!  What do  you consider to be a good week at "work"?

Starting A Tradition

I thought I'd end the year by posting about the 2nd year that Laura has helped the boys make sugar cookies.  And that, by my definition is the kick-off of a tradition!  Oh, these sugar cookies aren't just any sugar cookies.  They were passed down from my grandma to my mother and who knows where my grandmother got the recipe!   Now Laura has the antique recipe box, cookie cutters, rolling pin and the flour sifter that belonged to grandma.  I think they should rightfully go to her.  She spent time making these sugar cookies and passing them out to people when she was the remaining one home, after the rest of us had left into the big world.  She really loved to make these and loved the tradition.  They brought her a bit of comfort and stability when everyone and everything around her was leaving.  And so she passes the tradition on to her two oh-so-willing little boys.  I think maybe the tradition will continue on! 

This is, after all, serious business!

With a little bit of jocundity mixed in!

And now Mom can relax b/c now someone else is helping to pass on the tradition! 

                                   Now if only it wasn't so dang messy.  Flour everywhere, I tell ya!